InstaCare Regulars

This past Sunday marked the third time Robbie and I have visited InstaCare in the past month. It's been a bit frustrating, since we're usually pretty healthy people, but we've done our best to stay positive and keep trying to focus on good health (and hey, taking off a day of school to get better is pretty awesome). It doesn't help that I am surrounded by cute little munchkins that don't wash their hands as much as they should, but I love them anyways. Boy, being sick really helps you appreciate the times you are healthy.

When we went in Sunday, we were taken are of by the same nurse who saw us last time. He's the quirkiest man that just loves his job. Of course, he sees so many people that he didn't remember us, but at least we like to think we're making friends. Good times.

And don't worry, the masks in our picture were just for dramatic effect. Let me tell you, Robbie definitely has kept these InstaCare trips fun (as fun as they can get). He keeps us both laughing.

Hopefully this third time was the charm! And by charm, I mean that we won't have to go back for a looooong time. We'll miss our friend, though.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I've always been a worrier. Growing up, my mom used call me "Rachel the Worrywart." Like, I used to make myself sick by worrying so much. I've had enough experiences in my life where the worrying has ended up being WAY worse than the actual event, so you think I would have learned my lesson by now.

Apparently I still have a lot of learning to do.

January has been a worrisome month for me. I had two experiences where, once again, the worrying I felt was much worse than the actual event.

Event #1: Robbie and I decided it was time for us to go get our yearly physicals at the doctor's office. Now, I've never loved the doctor. I was the little girl that my mom had to trick into getting shots because, otherwise, I would throw a nasty tantrum. My mom would say to me, "Rachel, do you want to come with me on a ride and eat some cheerios? Or do you want to stay home with your brothers?" Be with mom? And eat cheerios? This was a no brainer. My mother was, and is, a smart one. Anyways, I've only had my blood drawn once a few years back, and it was one of the scariest things I've ever done. When I called this time to make an appointment, they had me schedule an appointment the week before my physical to get my blood drawn. Oh no. I literally worried about it for days, and finally Robbie told me that he wouldn't allow me to worry until 15 minutes before the appointment, haha (he's a keeper). I told myself that I was grown up and mature now, and would have to learn to handle this. The morning of the appointment came, and I was sick to my stomach. I drove to the office, checked in, they called me back, and within 15 minutes I was finished and out the door. Once again, getting my blood drawn was nothing. Literally, I occupied so much of my time worrying for THAT? I laughed, and then was pretty bugged at myself, and then was so relieved.

Event #2: Once a year, the principal at my school observes each of the teachers for a whole day. Yes, an entire day. Talk about nerve-racking!! Last year, they let us sign up for an observation date, we had time to prepare, and it actually wasn't too bad. It was my first year as a teacher, so naturally I was beside myself with worry, but I made it through and was totally fine. This year, however, they informed us that we wouldn't be able to sign up, but that she would be just popping in for a whole day at some point randomly in the month of January. When I read that email, I kind of had a panic attack. I prepare well as a teacher, but knew that I'd really have to be on my toes throughout the month. A couple weeks passed, and she still hadn't observed me, or any other teachers. I had a couple great experiences where I nailed one of my lessons, or just felt really connected with my kids, and that gave me comfort knowing that I was a good teacher. I knew it, and so whatever happened when she came to observe wouldn't matter. It was an incredible blessing to have those experiences. She showed up last Monday, and my first emotion was relief. The day went well, and she didn't stay as long as she initially said. Hallelujah! I was the first teacher she observed, and she hasn't observed anyone else yet.

Why did I worry so much? I ask myself that question too much. Worrying is truly an emotion that consumes you. It's so awful. I spent such a significant amount of time worrying that I missed out on quite a bit of happiness. There are defining moments in our life that shape our character. When those moments come, we are given a choice on how we are going to respond and act. Heavenly Father sent us here to grow, and has shown us the way to be happy. He has given us agency, and has entrusted us to use that agency wisely. It is empowering to learn how capable we are. When we know who we are, and whose we are, we truly can do anything. I'm so thankful for the opportunities He allows me to have that give me a chance to choose. I'm still learning to use my agency wisely, but we all learn little by little. I'm so grateful He is so patient with me. He loves us so much.

Choose happiness, my friends.

13 Memories of 2013

2013 was a big year for Robbie and me! Here are 13 memories of 2013.

1. Road trip with Shawney and Jessica to San Diego
Gosh, I love these girls. I met them in the first ward I was in on condo row. Shawney and I had an instant connection because she was a teacher, and I was going to school to become a teacher. Shawney was actually the one that helped me get the teaching job I have now. Such a blessing. Both of these girls are a TON of fun, and convinced me to go (sometimes I think too responsibly, go figure) with them on a spontaneous road trip to San Diego over Presidents Day. We stayed in the most ghetto hotel and a small percentage of me feared for my life. However, we survived, and actually had a total blast.

 Shawney, Jessica, and Jessica's friend, Dawna 

Coronado Beach

2. San Diego with the Bean's
My parents and I drove down to San Diego to meet Emily's family and go through the temple with her (I did baptisms, which was awesome). The Collins were so hospitable and good to us. They took us to all of their favorite restaurants, the beach, and even took us sailing on Bro. Collin's sailboat. I loved getting to know Emily and her parents better, and seeing Richard & Emily together more made it even more evident to me how perfect they are for each other.

3. Fell in love with Robbie
Robbie told me he loved me on January 5, but I wasn't ready to say it back. It took me a little bit longer. The first time I remember thinking, "Oh my goodness, I love this man!" was sometime in February when he surprised me with a double date with one of my best friends, Whitney Lewis. Something about that night just opened my eyes to how wonderful he was and how wonderful we were as a couple. I told him I loved him on March 1. I will never forget how happy we both were that night.

Traditions Ball in March

4. Grandma Ray passes away
Grandma Ray passed away on the morning of the last day of school. I remember texting Robbie with the news as soon as I woke up, and he soon after came over and gave me a big hug before I headed off to school. Her passing was something we expected, and I was surprised at my ability to emotionally keep it together...until the kids left after school. A faculty member at school came up to me and offered her condolences, and I just lost it. I was a mess for the next couple of hours, on and off, as I cleaned my room and checked out. It was a crazy mix of emotions. I was so relieved and happy to be done with school, but I mourned for my grandma and my mom and my grandpa and everyone else close to her. We drove out to the funeral a couple days later, and it was a strengthening, happy experience. I sure love and miss her.

My cousin's son kissing Grandma Ray goodbye

5. Finished first year of teaching
VICTORY DANCE!!! Words cannot describe how I felt on that last day of school. To accomplish something I didn't think was possible was a pretty amazing experience.

6. First Bean sibling wedding
Richard and Emily broke the single Bean streak! I love them both so much. Their wedding is what really got me thinking about whether Robbie and I were really going to take the next step and get engaged.

7. Portland
Robbie and I went on a road trip to Portland together in June. We knew we were going to get married, but didn't want to go on a roadtrip as an engaged couple (sketch). We did some research of the best sites to see around Portland, and had a wonderful time together. Being together all of the time confirmed to us that getting married was the right thing.

8. Got engaged
Robbie proposed on Sunday, June 9th, the day we got back from Portland. We were elated.

9. California trip with the Simons'
Because I was engaged to Robbie, I got to go on a family trip with the Simons' to visit Wilson's mission in Roseville, California. I loved getting to know his family better, and felt like one of them. I got my first real taste of the awesome family I was marrying into.

10. Lots of wedding planning
My goal as a future bride was to never be a bridezilla. I wanted to really pace myself so that stress wouldn't be an issue. I wanted to enjoy the wedding planning process. Of course there was stress towards the end of the planning process that was inevitable and something we couldn't really control (changing reception venues because of the weather), but overall I really enjoyed planning our wedding. I couldn't have done it without Robbie and my dear mother.

11. Wedding & Honeymoon
We were married on September 13, 2013, which was Friday the 13th! So many people helped to make this day incredible, and we are SO thankful for them. This truly was the best day.

Robbie surprised me with a honeymoon to Cancun, Mexico. And when I say surprise, I mean that he accidentally let out the word, "Mexico" a couple weeks before our wedding. The surprise part was that we were going to Cancun, which he told me as we left our reception. Haha, we had a good laugh about that. It was so rejuvenating to just be together and begin our lives together in such a beautiful place.

12. Grandpa Bean passes away
We got word of Grandpa Bean's passing while we were on our honeymoon. I remember going to the lobby to check our email. Robbie started reading his email on his phone, gave me a big hug, and handed the phone to me so I could read it. It was such a blessing to have Robbie with me. He held me while I cried, laughed with me as we talked about memories of Grandpa, and then helped me feel at peace as we talked about both of our grandpas together in heaven cheering us on.

13. Colorado for Mark & Elissa's Wedding
We finished the year off with a third Bean wedding! Robbie and I spent Christmas with my family, and then flew out to Colorado the next day for Mark & Elissa's wedding. They were sealed in the Denver Temple, Robbie packed extra tissues for me (he knows me so well). It was a sweet and powerful sealing. I was overcome with love for my brother who I have always looked up to, as well as a new love for his new bride. I love these two!

Here's to an amazing and wonderful 2014!