Oh, the Irony

Let me tell you a little about myself:

1. I have a hard time being up in front of people. It's definitely not where I am most comfortable. I would much rather be in the crowds.
2. I feel more comfortable following, rather than leading.
3. I get stressed very easily when I have a lot of things to accomplish. I don't do very well under pressure.
4. I don't see myself as a very creative person. I am much more comfortable using other people's ideas.
5. I am a little bit of a pushover and it's hard for me to put my foot down. I just feel for people, alright?

Now, let me tell you about the job of a teacher:

• You are up in front of 25-30 kids (and sometimes an adult) 5 days every week.
• You are expected to be an influential leader that changes lives.
• The stress and pressure levels you feel are incredibly high.
• You are expected to teach to the high kids and the low kids and the kids in the middle. You are also expected to make lessons fun and engaging. Creativity is a must.
• You deal with discipline issues every day, and if you aren't firm you get completely stepped on.

And to think I chose to be a teacher? Yikes.

I remember the first time I really disciplined a child last year. We have something at our school called "Think Time" where they are sent to another class to fill out a paper and essentially think about their bad behavior. I didn't send someone to Think Time until after Christmas Break. No, I did not have an angel class. I was just nervous to do it! What if they started crying (and knowing me, I'd start right along with them)? What if I couldn't stay firm and told them they could have another chance? But I tell ya, it was liberating! And after I sent one kid, the other kids knew I meant business and it changed things. It was awesome, even though I felt bad for the little sweetie for like two seconds. 

Nowadays? I don't hesitate to send someone to Think Time. If they deserve it, then they're outta here! Firm, but kind. Firm, but kind.

I have learned and grown so much the past year and a half as I've jumped into the whole teaching thing with two feet. It is HARD stuff. I can't tell you how man times I've cried on a Sunday night because I couldn't think of facing another week of teaching. I am just thankful that the people I have to be up in front of every day are sweet, kind (most of the time) children that are non-judgmental and full of love. I can handle that, and it has made getting up in front of adults a ton easier. I am thankful that I can be a leader in quiet ways. Those kids look to me as an example, and I can influence their lives in a small, positive ways. I am grateful that teaching has given me an opportunity to learn how to better deal with stress and pressure. I've learned to focus on doing my best, and then letting that be enough. I've learned to take deep breaths and keep an eternal perspective. I've learned to rely on God, family members, friends, and fellow faculty members to help me deal with the stress. Oh, and about the creativity? The beauty of that is that teachers all borrow from each other! This means that I don't have to come up with 15 cute ways on how to teach your vs. you're. Other teachers have already done that for me, and often those resources are free! Lastly, disciplining has been easier than I thought it would be. It was just that initial "Okay, that's it, Adam! Grab a paper and go to Think Time" that was hard. Once I was past that, it became easier and easier. 

I'm not gonna lie. I have called myself crazy for thinking I was cut out of teaching and had the personality that could handle it. But I know teaching is what I am supposed to be doing right now in my life. And when you know something is right, somehow it all works out. I've tried to focus on how my strengths help me as a teacher, and that has been super helpful. Kindness, sensitivity, laughter, and patience sure come in handy as a teacher.

Most of the time, teaching really is a beautiful thing. It's not my favorite thing in the whole world and I don't love it, but I sure do love how it has helped me to stretch myself and grow. I am a much better person than I was a year and half ago before I started teaching.

One more thing. Let me tell you a few more things about the job of a teacher:

• The kids greet you every day with a big smile and a, "Hey, Mrs. Simons!" as they tell you about a dream they had last night or about their lizard or their new hamster.
• They write you sweet notes and draw you pictures about the most random things.
• They count on you to be a mother figure when they get hurt playing at recess, or when their feelings get hurt. 
• They say the funniest things and keep you laughing all day (better to laugh than cry, right?).
• They just want to please you and make you happy.
• They teach you lessons and remind you of what is most important in life. It is amazing to watch them comfort one another and serve one another. Children are so sweet and selfless.

The hard and the rewarding both make teaching absolutely worth it.