4 Months Old

For some reason, 4 months old has always been such a huge milestone in my mind. In those early weeks of their lives, I used to think, "If I can just make it to 4 months..." 4 months is also when they say you can start sleep training, which of course I was looking forward to because I was a total sleep deprived zombie.

Man oh man, the past 4 months have been...soul stretching. That's the best way I can think to put it. We've experienced an overwhelming amount of joy and our hearts have been filled with so much love for our girls. Like SO much. Yet, it's been SO hard. I would wake up and just hope to survive the day. The days and nights were incredibly long. My patience was tested time and time again. Sleep deprivation made me quicker to frustration, sadness, and sometimes even anger. Never at the girls, though. I was lonely and completely exhausted all the time. I think back on those nights of waking up multiple times to feed or pump or rock back to sleep or put a binky back in...honestly, I am glad those nights are pretty much in the past. I would pick up the crying baby and feed, burp, and help her get back to sleep. 45-60 minutes later, it was time to do it all over again with the second girl (thankfully, we both now feed both girls at the same time and that has saved us). We received divine help, that I know for sure (now, I have to say that I know many people have it worse off than I did, but that doesn't diminish how hard it was for us...everyone has their struggles and sleep deprivation was just a huge struggle for me). Robbie helped us stay happy and positive and grateful. He is seriously KING of positivity. It makes a world of a difference when you can focus on your blessings and look at the glass half full.

I've been thinking about when it started to get easier. Of course sleeping longer at night was a game changer, but what made one of the biggest differences was when the girls started smiling. "Wait, you're a real human being and you love me??? This changes everything!" There is just something about those sweet smiles that just lighten the room and the mood. You can't be sad or frustrated when your baby is beaming at you. Their smiles kept (and still continue to keep) me going.

I hope I haven't painted a picture that makes people think our life has been awful the past four months. That is not my intention. Kate & Olivia are out greatest blessings EVER and they have brought heaven into our home. I thank my Heavenly Father multiple times every day for them and the opportunity to be their mother. But, I want to be honest in saying that we have had our share of discouragement, frustration, and complete exhaustion. Never a good combo. However, we don't shy away from hard things in this family and are better people because of what we've been through.

Kate & Olivia have been sleeping 10-12 hours every night for the past week or two (insert happiest dance ever). They started going 7-8 hours about a month ago, and it has slowly lengthened out. Literally, I will never take my sleep for granted ever again. It's been amazing to sleep again. Gosh, I love playing with them all day, but it sure is nice to put them to bed and then brush my teeth for the day. Okay, kidding (however, there were days in that first month where I literally didn't brush my teeth all day. whoops). We haven't had to do much hard core sleep training, but we have done some things from the very beginning to help the girls with their sleep: putting them down drowsy (but not asleep), swaddling, having a routine before naps and bedtime, and keeping them on the same sleep/eat schedule all the time. Seriously, life saver! The girls just recently started sleeping in separate crib for nap time, and then we'll put them in the same crib at night. Kate has learned to sleep through Olivia's crying, but we still have instances here and there where they wake each other up. I guess it comes with the territory though. The past week or so, they've been pretty consistent with going to bed between 8 and 9 pm and then waking up between 7 and 8 am. They eat every 3 hours during the day and nap in between. After the 5 pm feeding, they take a little nap in our arms, but are up the rest of the time before their last feeding at 8. They do so well with their sleep. I am a grateful mama.

They're currently eating between 4-6 ounces every three hours. They eat more in the morning and at night, and then stay pretty consistent throughout the day. They get 100% breastmilk in the mornings when I pump a lot, and then throughout the day, I just split whatever I pump (usually 6-7 ounces) and then add formula depending on how much I think they'll eat. We've got a good system down.

They are smiley, happy girls and I am loving the stage they're in. They're more focused and vocal and constantly moving their bodies. Such sweet little girls. We love them so.

4 month stats:
KATE: 12 lbs. 2 oz. 23 inches
OLIVIA: 11 lbs. 6 oz. 22.5 inches

Basically, they just look like big 2 month-olds :)